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The Types of Love I Have Known
Have you ever known love?
They asked me this question, and I answered:
“I have known three types of love. I have not experienced anything beyond them. Perhaps I will encounter other kinds one day, but for now, I will focus on these three.”
1. Ethereal Love
A strange and mysterious kind of love-one that follows neither logic nor tradition. It appears suddenly, without warning, and blends contradictions: it is both sweet and bitter, joyful and painful, strong and weak, gentle and wild all at once.
When a person falls into this kind of love, they lose their mind, dignity, and willpower. They become like a submissive servant, completely controlled, clinging to someone who may not even deserve them, justifying every action, much like a religious devotee justifies their god’s commands.
I see this as an unstable, unhealthy condition—one that provides fleeting moments of illusionary happiness before dragging a person into a vortex of suffering.
2. Lustful Love
This is the kind of love driven by desire—whether it is the desire to possess, for physical intimacy, or to satisfy an instinctual craving.
This type of love is the most common among people, but it is also the most fleeting. It ends the moment the goal is achieved. It is like loving a song, a person, or an object with intense passion, only to lose interest once it is obtained.
It is controlled by social norms, deception, and superficial appearances, much like politics and politicians—full of manipulation and cunning. It is a love that thrives on momentary pleasure rather than permanence and often leaves a lingering sense of emptiness.
3. Pragmatic Love
This is rational love, built on mutual understanding and shared benefits.
Some may see “benefit” as something negative, but this type of love is actually the most successful and sustainable. The concept of benefit is not limited to material gain—it can be emotional, social, or psychological.
This is the kind of love that forms the foundation of family and friendships. It is not based on exploitation but on a fair exchange—give and take, honesty, and clarity.
It resembles a successful business partnership—supply and demand, profit and loss, balanced cooperation. It lasts as long as mutual interests remain aligned and dissolves when the balance is disrupted.
Which Love Is Best?
After all the experiences I have been through, I have found that the third type—pragmatic love—is the most suitable for me and the most practical for long-term relationships.
It is a love that does not rely on blind emotions but on awareness and responsibility.
It may be difficult to apply in societies that only understand traditional, sentimental love, but it is the most stable choice, the one closest to reality—a concept understood only by a select few who are truly aware and cultured.
Final Thoughts
Love is not a sacred feeling or a divine gift; it is a human experience with multiple dimensions, differing from one person to another.
What works for one person may not be suitable for another. The key is to understand ourselves and our needs, to choose the kind of love that aligns with our awareness and values, rather than the love that society or tradition imposes upon us.
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