I Wish I Hadn’t Said No

I Wish I Hadn’t Said No

In 2005, I volunteered at a nursing home in the Netherlands. My job was to ease the loneliness of the elderly—whether by chatting with them or taking them out for walks in their wheelchairs to the places they loved. Among all the residents I met, the story of Christina remains etched in my memory. She would always repeat one sentence whenever she spoke, as if it summed up her entire life:

“I wish I hadn’t said no.”
“I wish I had had coffee with him.”

My curiosity constantly pushed me to understand the secret behind these words, which Christina repeated with regret and teary eyes. But no matter how hard I tried, I never got an answer… She rarely spoke, preferring silence and deep sighs, as if she lived in another world—one filled with memories and regret.

An Unexpected Visit

One day, an elderly woman visited Christina, accompanied by her husband and children. I was astonished because I had never seen anyone visit her before, nor did I ever imagine that she had friends or family.

After the visit, I met the woman in the cafeteria. Her name was Maria, and she told me she was Christina’s only friend, though she hadn’t seen her in seventy years. She also revealed that Christina had never married, never had children, and had lived alone her entire life.

I couldn’t help myself—I had to ask:
“What is the meaning behind Christina’s words?”
“Why does she keep saying: ‘I wish I hadn’t said no. I wish I had had coffee with him’?”

Suddenly, I noticed Maria’s husband’s expression change. Without saying a word, he stood up and walked away into the garden. I was taken aback by his reaction, but Maria looked at me with sorrow and said:

“It’s not your place to ask that.”

My curiosity only grew stronger. I asked her why, but she fell silent for a moment, then let out a deep sigh, as if she were carrying a heavy burden. Finally, she told me the real story behind those words.

A Lifetime of Regret

More than seventy years ago, Maria and Christina were high school students. Near their school, there was a small café where a young man named Pierre worked.

Pierre was a kind young man, deeply in love with Christina. He never missed an opportunity to invite her to share a cup of coffee with him, but Christina always refused—for no apparent reason.

Years passed, and their final day of school arrived. That day, Pierre came with a bouquet of flowers, congratulating the girls on their success. One last time, he invited Christina to have coffee with him.

And once again, she refused—not just the invitation but also the flowers! Maria, however, accepted both.

That moment changed the course of their lives forever.

A Split-Second Decision That Altered a Lifetime

Christina was furious with Maria and threatened to end their friendship. Maria didn’t take the threat seriously, but to her shock, Christina followed through—she never spoke to her again.

Meanwhile, Maria continued seeing Pierre at the café. Their acquaintance blossomed into true love, then marriage, then a family and children.

As for Christina, she remained firm in her decision. She rejected every opportunity for love and companionship and lived alone for the rest of her life.

Many years later, when Maria and Pierre found out that Christina was living alone in a nursing home, they decided to visit her… Pierre was not just “her old friend’s husband”—he was the man she had once rejected, the one who might have been the love of her life.

They never knew she regretted her decision. They never heard her whispered words of remorse… Until I asked the question.

A Sad but Predictable Ending

Just a few months after that visit, Christina passed away.

She left behind a heartbreaking story about missed opportunities and lifelong regret. Her entire existence was summed up in the words she never stopped repeating:

“I wish I hadn’t said no.”
“I wish I had had coffee with him.”

Perhaps, in all our lives, there are moments where we, too, wish we hadn’t said no—foolish rejections, missed chances, and regrets that haunt us for years.

But the real question is: Will we learn from Christina’s story? Or will we one day find ourselves repeating the same words?