I Will Not Bow to You in Reverence
Like a lone willow tree, I stand,
Moody as an autumn day.
A thought crossed my mind—to call a friend,
Hoping he might lighten my burdens.
We exchanged words,
And he took me back to those distant years…
He reminded me of my faith and piety!
Of people I once knew…
Of prayers I offered tirelessly,
Like the mosque’s carpet—I never left.
Of a Quran that shattered my heart,
Like an unending cry echoing through time.
Of a god to whom eternity remained silent…
Abstaining from speaking the truth.
And now, I had reached the age of maturity.
I packed my bags and traveled far,
Seeking knowledge in the schools of Islam and the Muslims,
Dreaming of becoming a renowned imam,
Standing as a leader before crowds of dreamers.
And so, I became that young man,
Worshipping Allah with the purest of intentions,
Like a lover exhausted by the agony of separation.
I spared you nothing…
My blood, my soul, my body that never knew rest,
As if you were reclaiming what was yours.
I longed to witness your face…
Until…
Until that day unlike any other…
A day when my eyes finally glimpsed the light,
As if the sun had never risen before that moment.
A sliver of doubt pierced the darkness of my certainty.
And now, I have cast you out of my paradise,
You, who have no paradise of your own.
I have freed myself from your chains.
I no longer believe in you, nor feel safe with you…
You, devoid of meaning.
I have freed myself from your chains.
You no longer mean anything to me,
A stray orphan of existence…
I will not bow to you in reverence.
I once belonged entirely to you…
But now, I belong entirely to myself.
Do not demand anything from me after your downfall,
For your accounts are empty.
So leave me, like the past fades from memory…
The life I wasted on you,
Now, by my own will, I revive it.
I await the future,
With a soul reborn in the gasp of awakening.
And I make this vow to you,
Lord of wars and massacres,
From one of your soldiers who has resigned…
You have betrayed me, O worm of withered minds!
And so, I give you what you deserve…
And upon you, the reckoning.
